40-ish means----49
Adventurous means----Slept with all your mates
Athletic means----No tits
Average looking means---- a face like a monkey’s arse
Beautiful means----Pathological liar
Contagious Smile means----Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure means----On medication
Feminist means----Fat
Free spirit means----Junkie
Friendship first means----Former slut
Fun means----Annoying
Gentle means----Dull
New-Age means----Body hair problems
Open-minded means----Desperate
Outgoing means----Loud and embarrassing
Passionate means----Sloppy drunk
Poet means----Depressive
Professional means----Bitch
Romantic means----Frigid
Voluptuous means----Very Fat
Large lady means----Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate means----Stalker
Widow means----Murderer