There's a knock on the gate to Heaven and St. Peter answers, “Who's there?”

The visitor replies, “Muhammad Yousuf, sir.”

After a brief wait St. Peter comes out and says, “I'm sorry pal we've got you down as a Muslim. This place is only for Christians.”

Muhammad is able to see through the open gate into Heaven and really wants to be in there. So he pleads with St. Peter, “Look I'm not really a Muslim, all my life I have remained tolerant and passive to all forms of religion.”

“Well, I don't know,” says St. Peter.

“St. Peter, just before I died I donated £5,000 to Christian Aid, surely that counts for something?”

“Listen, you wait here, I'll go and have a word with the Boss. See what he says.

The gate slams shut and after a long wait St. Peter comes back.

“I had a word with the Boss. Here's your five grand back now f*ck off.”