Two women friends, incredibly drunk and walking home got caught short. They were very close to a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her knickers and use them, then throw them away.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to save a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that. They then made off for home.

The next day one woman's husband phoned the other husband and said, "We'd better keep an eye on our wives you know, mine came home last night without her knickers."

"That's nothing," said the other "Mine came back with a card stuck between her arse that said 'From all the lads at the fire station. We'll never forget you'.