A gentleman visited a restaurant with some friends for a celebration meal. The waiter that served their table was attentive, knowledgeable and helpful as they ordered their dishes.
The food arrived in good time and it was agreed that the quality, presentation and taste were excellent and the service was of the highest standard. When the main course was finished the host accidentally brushed the table and dropped his spoon on the floor. He called their waiter across and as the waiter appeared the host noticed that he had a full set of cutlery in his outer breast pocket. The host was impressed that the waiter had anticipated this and said as much.

The waiter replied that waiting at table was not his main occupation and that he was in fact a student in manufacturing and advanced production methods, his waiter’s job was merely to earn money to pay for his education. The reason he and all the other waiters now carried a full set of cutlery was because he had noticed that if a diner dropped an item of cutlery on the floor they would call their waiter over to the table. The waiter would collect the ‘soiled’ item and then go to the kitchen to collect a clean item and deliver it back to the diner. He reasoned that if all the waiters had a full set of cutlery it would save about three minutes but most importantly it would be less inconvenience to the diner.

The host was very impressed.

After the dinner party had finished their meal it was agreed by all that it had been an excellent choice of venue and each diner left a hefty tip in recognition of the experience.
The party left the restaurant leaving the host to pay the bill. As the host was writing his cheque he noticed that his waiter had a piece of string sticking out of the top of his trouser fly. He asked what the string was for.

The waiter replied that it was another of his ideas to save time and that all the waiters now have the string. The string is attached to the end of the penis and when they visit the toilet to urinate they simply have to unzip the pull on the string. This means they don’t handle their nether regions so they don’t need to wash their hands and this saves up to six minutes.

The host was impressed and then a thought struck him. “How do you put it back?”

The waiter replied. “Well I don’t know about the others but I use a spoon.”